I've pondered loneliness a lot lately and being alone, what it means to stand alone, shop alone, pay rent alone, eat dinner alone.
Is there something about me, that if people know it, they won't want to connect to me anymore?
The not good enough. Not thin enough, smart enough, tall enough, rich enough. Vulnerable.
Then there's the truth. Everyone is worthy. Everyone deserves love and hugs and nurture. But also, everyone should be ok being alone, with only your own soul as company.
What is it that lies between the two? I think it's self confidence, self love. I am good enough. I am worth of connection.
Why do we, as humans, need a guarantee? Is jumping in with both feet a part of life, a part of living? Is it essential?
So I ask you: Is is possible to be compassionate with others if you can't love yourself? Is is possible to truly connect without being vulnerable?
What a very thought-provoking post! I have a few thoughts in response to the questions you posed.
ReplyDeleteFirstly, I personally believe that one cannot be fully compassionate and love another without first loving oneself. I think one must first realize their own self worth and respect the person they are - flaws included. This self love exudes through in relationships. It allows you to realize that people are there to enrich your life and add value to it. You are then able to build a strong relationship, yet you don't become so dependent on this person and the relationship that your own personal identity is lost. I feel that so often when relationships are created out of sadness or loneliness we become so dependent on them we forget what makes us happy and worthy independent of this person/relationship.
In my opinion, you cannot truly connect with someone without putting yourself in a vulnerable position. If you remain guarded then you are not opening yourself up to the full potential of a relationship. Yes, placing yourself in a vulnerable position could lead to some hurt or sadness. On the other hand, you won't fully experience the positives either - all of the love, happiness, blessings. You must be willing to accept the good and bad when making a true connection with someone.